от чего немеют зубы

What if it truly doesn't matter what you do but how
you do whatever you do?

How would this change what you choose to do with your life?

What if you could be more present and open-hearted
with each person you encounter working as a cashier in
the corner store, a parking lot attendant or filing clerk
than you could if you were striving to do something
you think is more important?

How would this change how you want to spend your
precious time on this earth?

What if your contribution to the world and the fulfillment
of you own happiness is not dependent upon discovering
a better method of prayer or technique of meditation,
not dependent upon reading the right book or attending
the right seminar, but upon really seeing and deeply
appreciating yourself and the world as they are right now?

How would this effect your search for spiritual
development?

What if there is no need to change, no need to try
and transform yourself into someone who is more compassionate,
more present, more loving or wise?

How would this effect all the places in your life where
you are endlessly trying to be better?

What if the task is simply to unfold, to become who
you already are in your essential nature- gentle, compassionate
and capable of living fully and passionately present?

How would this effect how you feel when you wake
up in the morning?

What if who you essentially are right now is all that
you are ever going to be?

How would this effect how you feel about your future?

What if the essence of who you are and always have been is enough?

How would this effect how you see and feel about your past?

What if the question is not why am I so infrequently
the person I really want to be, but why do
I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?

How would this change what you think you have to learn?

What if becoming who and what we truly are happens
not through striving and trying but by recognizing and
receiving the people and places and practices that offer
us the warmth of encouragement we need to unfold?

How would this shape the choices you have to make
about how to spend today?

What if you knew that the impulse to move in a way that
creates beauty in the world will arise from deep within
and guide you every time you simply pay attention
and wait?

How would this shape your stillness, your movement,
your willingness to follow this impulse, to just let go and dance?

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Author of the book THE INVITATION.
Excerpted with permission from THE DANCE
(published September 2001).
Copyright (c) 2001 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. All rights reserved.
May not be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission
of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 10 E. 53 St., New York NY 10022

- а ты помнишь, что я тебе в ту ночь сообщила, что в моей голове другой человек?
- нет
- блять
- а в твоей голове другой человек, значит?!
- да, но
- что но?
- но так получилось, что ты в моей голове, как оказалось, хотя я и сама не подозревала, занимаешь больше места, чем. чем все остальные
и меня это пугает, потому что.. и теперь ты об этом знаешь, и я..
- ты чувствуешь себя уязвимой
- да
- я всё прекрасно понимаю, и ты действительно сейчас открыта для меня, и я знаю, что ты уязвима, но тебе нечего бояться, лиз

крепко обнял

не дари мне больше ничего, скотина
"тебе не поможет"

я начинаю вечеринку водкой
страшно ругаюсь матом
чересчур много курю

ну какая из меня девочка?

я научилась жить в безвоздушном мире, я открываюсь каждому, кто попросит
я перемыла все что нашлось в квартире, и не разбила, хотя подмывало бросить

|c|

надоело закрывать себя на все замки, боясь, что я сама в себе останусь.
нет же книги, в которой написано, как правильно жить. и мне хочется пробовать.

я не готова быть крёстной
в это следует верить и нести ответственность
как-то двояко внутри всё